What is Romance and
Why Should You Care?
Women seem to have an insatiable appetite for all things
romantic. Men, on the other hand, often fail to understand what romance is
in the first place, and why in heaven's name you'd want to waste time on
that silly (expensive, boring, girly) stuff.
We'll tell you what it is - but first of all, let us tell
you why you should care. There are a couple of critical reasons you should
not only want romance, but why you need it as well.
If you asked, most men would probably say that the reason
for romance is to get laid. Duh. Then they'd look at you like you're an
idiot. But actually, there's a lot more to it than that, so let's look at
it in guy terms.
Caveat: The thoughts in this article do not apply to that
spoiled jerk kind of woman who is never happy no matter what you do. Not
only will you not get laid even after you kiss up to her, but she won't
appreciate you. So save it for someone deserving.
That said, here's why you need romance:
Reason #1: Romance makes you a hero!
The proper execution of the great romantic instinct is
really what separates the men from the boys. You do this right, and she's
happy. Not just happy, but touched in that wonderfully weepy way that
makes her think:
A romantic guy becomes infinitely more attractive and
interesting to a woman than the garbage-toting, laundry-challenged doof so
often portrayed in TV ads. He's the Man, the King, the guy she's lucky to
have.
But that's only one part of the equation, and whether
you've been with someone for ten days or ten years, this applies.
Consider: how does it make you feel when you know you're making her happy?
when you know she thinks you're a hero? when you know you're doing the
right things? You're successful, confident, and attractive. You can
honestly say to yourself, "I RULE!" There are no problems, because you,
the hero, fixed them! Sure, it's an oversimplification, but the bottom
line is, when you get this right, you feel better about yourself not just
in the bedroom, but in the rest of your life, too.
Reason #2: Romance protects your investment.
Many of us put a good love/sex life high on the list of
things we want for our happiness. We certainly spend a lot of time
thinking about the rewards of having a great partner in our life, at our
service. Bad news is; day-to-day life has this really insidious way of
trying to undermine all your hard work. Everything you've done to find,
attract, get close to someone and inspire them to love and admire you (and
sleep with you) can turn to resentment over time if your partner perceives
you as preoccupied, selfish, difficult or distant. The harmony and
happiness of a good relationship are at risk when stress, tiredness,
forgetfulness, job woes, plain old boredom and petty disputes come into
play.
The antidote to all of this is romance.
So what is romance, anyway? Here's the key qualifier:
romance is the delivery of the concept, not the concept itself.
For example, romance is not flowers. But it could be the
way you used them to remember an important date, or gave them to say thank
you for a spectacular roll in the hay. It's the fact that you knew what
she likes - proof that you listened when she mentioned something (which in
woman-speak means you care about her and think her personality is nifty).
In fact, one well-timed stem of her favorite bloom and a short memo with a
specific compliment would mean infinitely more than an oversized,
expensive bouquet. As you can see, any action can be considered either
romantic, or the complete opposite. It's how you do it that matters.
Another example: taking her out to dinner is nice. But
romance is doing something that specifically indicates that you were
thinking of her. So, for instance, you get lots of points for surprising
her at the end of a work day with dinner plans or even a picnic basket and
a bottle of wine when you know she's had a particularly difficult day. But
you get the cold shoulder if you didn't anticipate this nice gesture you
could make - if she has to complain about her day, then suggest, plan, nag
and then finally get you to take her out, you get no points at all. See?
It could be the exact same restaurant, the exact same meal, but it's how
you do it that makes you the hero.
It's all about demonstrating that you do think about her
and care about how she is when you're not with her. It's about making her
feel attractive, worthwhile and desirable through small acts of kindness
and caring. And as you may notice, money is not the issue here! In fact,
overspending or overdoing will more likely be construed as just
grandstanding and substituting money for real thoughtfulness.
Even if you're tired, stressed, or don't have much time,
you can always make a little time for a romantic gesture:
-
Bring her a coffee & flower to bed in the morning (bonus
points for a card/letter);
-
Heat a towel in the dryer for her for when she's done
showering;
-
Email her during the day with a tiny one-line
recollection about lovemaking from the previous night;
-
Bring her a book (from library or bookstore) about
something she mentioned lately;
-
Offer to pick up something to lighten her errand load;
-
Show her that you always take along her photo (or better
yet, a pic of the two of you) when you travel;
-
Do some little chore she hates to do, and let her know
you appreciate all the things she does that she thinks go unnoticed;
If she mentions a lack of interest in sex because of
stress or tiredness, show your concern and thoughtfulness by giving her
some alone time, offering a massage, or even suggesting
estraVil to her - just say it's something you'd heard would help
her feel better, more interested in sex and more satisfied by it. Ask if
she'd like you to get her some to try, or just refer her to the web site.
Once in a while, do one of the bigger romantic gestures.
Remember, the more preparation you can do without her knowing, the better
off you are. And a big part of preparation is thinking carefully about
what she needs or would like best.
Try some of these ideas (you customize to meet her
preferences): movie marathon for two, full candle-and-bubbles bath for two
with a little wine, start or update a photo album of the two of you while
playing music and sharing snacks and drinks, plan a dinner theme night
based on something you both like (sushi night, Italian night,
all-chocolate dessert night, and so on), go stargazing with a catered
bring-along meal for two, take her to a romantic movie and insist on
sitting in the back row so you can make out. For indoor/stay-home romantic
nights, set the mood - tidy things up, play a little music, light a few
candles, and before whatever your "main event" is, sit down, give her a
foot massage and talk and listen to her.
Not sure you've got the energy for all of this? Take good
care of yourself on a daily basis, too. Consider a HGH releaser like
GenF20 HGH as a supplement to restore your body's natural levels
of human growth hormone which will rev up your energy and youthfulness.
One last thing (and you already knew this) - men like
romance, too. Get over feeling that it's sappy, and just enjoy it. All
those love songs and poems written by men for centuries weren't just about
getting laid after all.
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